Down Behind The Dustbin is a poem about Michael Rosen with his experience meeting dogs behind dustbins.
DISCLAIMER: This is a transcript for a video of Michael performing the poem/book, not a transcript from the actual poem/book itself.
Michael: Down behind the dustbin I met a dog called Jim, he didn't know me and I didn't know...
Michael: (Incoherent blabbering) Down behind the dustbin I met a dog called Jim he didn't know me and I didn't know
Michael: 'Id you know I did that the other day and I got to the end of that and a boy shouted out "Well how did ya know his name was Jim then!?"
Michael: And I went um... I don't know actually.... uhh... heh well I'm sorry. uhh...
Down behind the dustbin I met a dog called Sid, he could smell a bone inside but he couldn't lift the...
Michael: Well he was a dog wasn't he!? Dogs don't lift lids! Why are you telling me this rubbish? Down Behind the dustbin I met that dog called Sid he said that he didn't know me but I'm pretty sure he...
Michael: Well that Dog was lying wasn't it?
Michael: Why are you telling me this immoral stuff about dogs lying?
Down behind the dustbin I met a dog called Barry, tried to lift the bin but it was too heavy too...
Michael: Dogs don't lift bins!
Down behind the dustbin I met a dog called Jack, "Where are you going" I said, (Michael Giggles) "no where" I'm just coming...
Michael: Well you're still going somewhere even if you are coming back. This is non sense!
Down behind the dustbin I met a dog called Nicola she looked a bit like an onion
Audience: (Some kids giggle)
Michael: So I thought that I would...
Audience: Tickle her!
Michael: (Michael gets a confused look on his face) Tickle her?
Audience: (Audience giggling)
Michael: I know that's spa-(Michael stops abruptly.) Yeah, you could have tickled onions couldn't you? Yeah no you got to the shop like Sainsbury's or somewhere and, and they've got these, yeah, yeah yeah. You go to Sainsbury's-a big row of, of pickled, PICKLED onions and there all sitting there (Michael bloats up his cheeks, bulges out his eyes and makes an identical face to what he did in No Breathing In Class.) Oh no it looks like me not breathing doesn't it? never mind (blabbering.) here's the pickled onions (Bloats up his cheeks and bulges out his eyes once again.) and on the wa-on the end there's one jar of tickled onions, and they're all setting there going aaaaahhhh ah stop it oh you and your ololololo oh get off! it's just stupid.
Down behind the dustbin I met a dog called Felicity, it's a bit dark down here 'cause they cut off my...
Michael: I get a bit nervous about that one, because I found out if I go into like a nursery class or reception and I do all those other ones and I get to Felicity and I promise you this is what happens every time I do it I go "Down behind the dustbin I met a dog called Felicity, it's a bit dark down here 'cause they cut off my..." and the little ones always go "head" yeah yeah yeah.
Audience: (Laughs while Michael makes a very confused face)
Michael: Head? Why would it be head I don't... oh no it would be dark wouldn't it? It's a bit dark down here I don't got my head ya know! that was rather a London dog that one wasn't it? Got me head on! yeah.