- Not to be confused with Conversation With a Six-year-old.
Conversations with a Two Year Old (called Conversations with a Two-Year-Old (Laura) in the book) is a poem by Michael Rosen, from his book The Hypnotiser.
Along with A Ball, Laura and Laura Singing, this is one of several poems in The Hypnotiser centered around Michael's stepdaughter, Laura.
Characters[]
- Michael Rosen
- Laura Rosen
- Eddie Rosen (book only)
- Joe Rosen (mentioned; book only.)
Transcript[]
Conversations with a Two Year Old.
D'you want an apple? No. What do you want then? An apple.
D'you want something to eat? No. D'you want some puffed wheat? Yes.
What are you doing? Got my pockets in my hands.
What’s the time? 24 hours ago.
Go wash your hands in the bathroom. My hands aren't in the bathroom.
Conversations with a Two Year Old
Now what‘s the matter? I've got a tummy ache in my head.
Are you alright? I done saw a funny noise.
CONVERSATIONS WITH A TWO-YEAR-OLD, (LAURA)
* * * *
Do you want an apple? No. What do you want, then? An apple.
* * * *
Do you want something to eat? No. Do you want some puffed wheat? Yes.
* * * *
What are you doing? Got my pockets in my hands.
* * * *
Hallo, Laura. Hallo, Eddie, what's your name? Eddie. No tisn't. It's Joe.
* * * *
What's the time? Twenty-four hours ago.
* * * *
Go wash your hands in the bathroom. My hands aren't in the bathroom.
* * * *
What's the matter? I got a headache in my foot.
* * * *
Now what's the matter? I got a tummy-ache in my head.
* * * *
Are you alright
I done saw a funny noise.Differences between written version and performed version[]
- A conversation between Laura and Eddie that results in Laura telling Eddie that his name is "Joe" is cut from the performance.
Use in Poops[]
- "Do you want an apple?" is used weirdly often in YouTube Poops. This is usually because poopers want to make a random, unpredictable, and/or irrelevant joke.
- Michael saying "No" can also be seen in many poops, but the one in London Airport is used a lot more.
- Many poopers like to play the word "Conversations" and then reverse it in the middle to make the word "cock".