"The Hollywood" is a poem written by Michael Rosen in his book "The Hypnotiser".
Characters[]
Plot[]
In the poem, Joe goes to a café with his parents and is eating some fish and chips. Geraldine asks him if he wants any dessert, so he looks for a dessert and was going to get strawberry ice cream, until he noticed the largest dessert on the menu. It was "The Hollywood".
"The Hollywood" consists of vanilla and strawberry ice cream, peaches, cream, chocolate sauce, cherries, trifle, and jelly. It also has a small paper umbrella at the peak.
Joe then asks for "The Hollywood" but Michael states out that he won't eat it because it is too big and says
Joe next to The Hollywood.
that it's a waste of money. His mother contrasts him and says that if Joe wants one, he can have one. Michael still believes that Joe won't eat it. Geraldine then asks for "The Hollywood" and Joe is stunned by its sheer size. Joe states that "The Hollywood" was taller than him. Joe tastes the cherries and finds them appetizing. He then consumes the ice cream and also finds them delectable, along with the chocolate sauce. Joe says that it was "a bit rich, but okay". Michael then gets jealous over Joe because Michael loves ice cream, and Joe isn't giving him any.
On the other hand, Joe tastes the jelly and finds it unappealing. Michael cheers up because Joe is slowing down his progress on the dessert. Geraldine then tells her husband to leave Joe alone. Joe detests the dessert so much that he begins to stuff some in his cheeks and dreads to swallow. He also becomes heavily nervous and anxious. He proceeds to taste the trifle, which he describes as "soggy cake", which was apparently even more horrible than the jelly. Joe then spits out the dessert and Michael is pleased. Michael tells him "stopped, have you?" but his wife tells him to leave Joe alone. Joe, in a miserable voice, says that he despises the dessert. Michael's hand speeds across the table and exclaims "I'll finish it!". Geraldine tells Joe that it's alright and that she doesn't suppose Joe will ask for another.
Transcript[]
The Hollywood.
The Hollywood - Michael Rosen
We went to this café, and I had loads to eat. I had cod and chips. The cod was huge and there was hundreds of chips, hundreds and hundreds of them, and I ate the lot! Then Mum said, "Anyone want any afters?" And we looked to see what there was: there was apple pie - Don't like that; there was jam roly-poly - Don't like that; and then there was ice cream; I like that! There was chocolate, strawberry and vanilla. I was just about to say "I'll have a strawberry ice cream!" when I saw something else, It said: "The Hollywood!" and it was vanilla ice cream, peaches, cream, chocolate sauce, cherries, trifle, jelly, AND.. strawberry ice cream. So I said "Heh, I'll have a Hollywood". Dad said, "He won't eat it..they're HUGE." but Mum said, "No no, if he wants it, he can have it." Dad said, "Waste of money, he won't eat it!" and then Mum said, "A Hollywood please!" and then we waited.
Then suddenly, it appeared on it's own right in the middle of a tray, with a little paper umbrella stuck in the top Everyone in the café looked 'round. "What's that?" "Yeah yeah, that's the Hollywood! "Oh yeah yeah, that's the Hollywood all right". And then the woman put it down in front of me, the Hollywood, with a little paper umbrella stuck in the top. It was huge! It was taller than me! I had this really long spoon to eat it with and now, everyone was looking at me.
I had to reach up to get the cherry on the top. *pewp* Got it. *slurp* *click* Ah! In the mouth, it was lovely! Then onto the ice cream. *slurp* Mmm! And the chocolate sauce! Eheheh, dig in! *QUACK* *slurp (x2)* *click* That was...a bit rich, but, okay. Heh, Dad loves ice cream and chocolate sauce, and he's watching me, but I don't give him any. Then there was some um, *slurp* *click* Jelly stuff and actually, umm...that wasn't very nice. Uhh, actually, um...it was horrible, and Dad said, "Slowing down are you?" And Mum said "Leave him alone." Now, I was...filling my cheeks, so as not to taste it as much. My hands went hot and...people were looking at me.
Then, I got to the trifle. Soggy cake. And that was even more horrible. I couldn't bare to put it into my mouth. I couldn't even put it in my cheeks. I hunched my shoulders and *pleugh* spat some onto my plate. I stopped eating. Dad said, "Stopped, have you"? Mum said "Leave him alone." I said "I don't like it very much." Dad's hand darted across the table; "I'll finish it!" he said. Oh yeah, you bet he said that; "I'll finish it!" he says. And Mum turned to me and said, "Never mind dear, I don't suppose you'll ask for one of those again, will you?"
I don't suppose I will.
Use in Poops[]
- "The Hollywood" is usually chopped up to say "wood" because in "The Project" "wood" is spoken and is sometimes mixed together for a comedic effect.
- "Hundreds and hundreds of them." is sometimes used in poops.
- "A bit rich" is often shortened to "bitch", via combining the word "bit" and the final part of the word rich, "-ch."
- "In the mouth, it was lovely" is often used to describe oral sex.
- "AND" is usually used when two words are linked together in YTP's.
- Often times, "chocolate sauce" is used as "clit sauce" or sometimes just "clit."
- Sometimes, "Never mind dear, I don't suppose you'll ask for one of those again, will you?" can be heard when someone has gotten something they don't want from another character.
- At the end of the video, after Michael said "I don't suppose I will", he made a surprised/worried face. This is commonly used in YTPs.
- "Stuck in" is used to make Michael say the word "fucking".
- "Cod" is usually reversed to make the word "cock".
Trivia[]
- One might confuse the story (by noticing the title) thinking that Michael and his family will be Hollywood stars, but when one watches the video, they have been proven wrong.
- According to a Q&A Michael did on YouTube, contrary to popular belief Michael is the father in the story, and the son is Joe Rosen.[1]
- This story also took place on the island of Corfu off the coast of Greece, according to Michael in the same Q&A.