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Growing Apples is a story from Michael Rosen's book, Centrally Heated Knickers.

This story revolves around a king who wants to turn one apple into thousands of apples. He then consults wise men who fail to find a solution to the problem, until one girl suggests he plants the apple, much to the surprise of the wise men and even the king.

Transcript Edit

Growing Apples.

And the king said, “How do I turn this apple into thousands of apples?”  The wise men scratched their heads, muttered among themselves, and consulted their great books.  One stepped forward.  “Perhaps this is some kind of joke your majesty, but one could say that one could make a thousand apples by chopping one apple *chopping noises* into a thousand pieces.”  “Balderdash!” said the king, “I said thousands of apples, not some nonsensical business about hacking an apple to bits.”  Another wise man stepped forward, “I’ve heard that beyond the horizon, there lives a man who sings to the objects in his house, tra la la, tra la la.  It’s said of him that he can cause things to multiply.  Maybe, tra la la tra la—“ “Poppycock!” roared the king, “I wasn’t looking for some holy moly jiggery pokery!”  And on it went.  None of the wise men were wise enough to solve the problem.  *lip smack*  A serving girl who was pouring the wine caught the drift of what was going on.  “Heh, I know how to turn your apple into thousands of apples,” she said.  How the wise men laughed!  “*laughing* The cheek!  *laughing* A little whippersnapper like her.  As if she would know!”  “Come then,” said the king, “speak, girl.”  “I’d…um…bury your apple,” said the girl.  There was silence.  The wise men looked at each other and sniggered.  “*laughing* Bury it, bury it!  What good would that do?”  But the king didn’t wait.  “You’re right, young lady, completely and utterly right!”

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