"The Hollywood" is a poem written by Michael Rosen in his book "The Hypnotiser".
In the poem, Michael goes to a café with his parents and is eating some fish and chips. His mum asks him if he wants any dessert, so he looks for a dessert and was going to get strawberry ice cream, until he noticed "The Hollywood".
"The Hollywood" consists of: vanilla ice cream, peaches, cream, chocolate sauce, cherries, trifle, jelly and strawberry ice cream. It also has a small paper umbrella at the peak.
Michael then asks for "The Hollywood" but his father states out that he won't eat it because it is too big and says that it's a waste of money. His mother contrasts him and says that if Michael wants one, he can have one. Michael's father still believes that Michael won't eat it. Michael's mum then asks for "The Hollywood" and Michael is stunned because of the sheer size. Michael says that "The Hollywood" was taller than him.
Michael tastes the cherries and finds them appetizing. He then consumes the ice cream and also finds them delectable, along with the chocolate sauce. Michael says that it was "a bit rich, but okay". Michael's dad then gets jealous over Michael because Michael's dad loves ice cream. Michael doesn't give him any, however.
On the other hand, Michael tastes the jelly and finds it unappealing. Michael's dad cheers up because Michael is slowing down his progress on the dessert. Michael's mum then tells her husband to leave Michael alone. Michael detests the dessert so much that he begins to stuff some in his cheeks and dreads to swallow. He also becomes heavily nervous and anxious. He proceeds to taste the trifle, which he describes as "soggy cake", which was apparently even more horrible than the jelly. Michael then spits out the dessert and his father is pleased. His father tells him "stopped, have you?" but his wife tells him to leave Michael alone. Michael, in a miserable voice, says that he despises the dessert. His father's hand speeds across the table and exclaims "I'll finish it"! Michael's mum tells Michael that it's alright and that she doesn't suppose Michael will ask for another.
We went to this café and I had loads to eat. I had cod and chips. The cod was huge and there was hundreds of chips, hundreds and hundreds of them, and I ate the lot! Then mum said "anyone want any afters"? And we looked to see what there was: there was apple pie - Don't like that; there was jam roly-poly - Don't like that; and then there was ice cream; I like that! There was chocolate, strawberry and vanilla. I was just about to say "I'll have a strawberry ice cream" when I saw something else, It said: "The Hollywood!" and it was vanilla ice cream, peaches, creme, chocolate sauce, cherries, trifle, jelly, AND.. strawberry ice cream. So I said "Heh, I'll have a Hollywood". Dad said "he won't eat it, they're huge" but mum said "no no, if he wants it, he can have it". Dad said "waste of money, he won't eat it" and then mum said "a Hollywood please" and then we waited. Then suddenly, it appeared on it's own right in the middle of a tray, with a little paper umbrella stuck in the top. Everyone in the café looked 'round. "What's that"? "Yeah yeah, thats the Hollywood, yeah yeah, that's the Hollywood all right". And then the woman put it down in front of me, the Hollywood, with a little paper umbrella stuck in the top. It was huge. It was taller than me. I had this really long spoon to eat it with and now, everyone was looking at me. I had to reach up to get the cherry on the top. *pewp* Got it. *slurp* *click* Ah! In the mouth, it was lovely. Then onto the ice cream. *slurp* Mmm! And the chocolate sauce! Eheheh, dig in! *QUACK* *slurp (x2)* *click* That was.. a bit rich, but, okay. Heh, dad loves ice cream and chocolate sauce, and he's watching me, but I don't give him any. Then there was some um, *slurp* *click* Jelly stuff and actually, umm, that wasn't very nice. Uhh, actually, it was horrible, and dad said "slowing down are you"? And mum said "leave him alone". Now, I was.. filling my cheeks, so as not to taste it as much. My hands went hot and.. people were looking at me. Then, I got to the trifle. Soggy cake. And that was even more horrible. I couldn't bare to put it into my mouth. I couldn't even put it in my cheeks. I hunched my shoulders and *pleugh* spat some onto my plate. I stopped eating. Dad said "stopped, have you"? Mum said "leave him alone. I said "I don't like it very much". Dad's hand darted across the table; "I'll finish it" he says, oh yeah you bet he said that; "I'll finish it" he says. And mum turned to me and said "never mind dear, I don't suppose you'll ask for one of those again, will you"? I don't suppose I will.
Use in PoopsEdit
- "The Hollywood" is usually chopped up to say "wood" because in "The Project" "wood" is spoken and is sometimes mixed together for a comedic effect.
- "Hundreds and hundreds" is sometimes used in poops.
- "A bit rich" is often shortened to "bitch".
- "In the mouth, it was lovely" is often used to describe oral sex.
- According to a Q&A Michael did on YouTube, Michael is the father in the story, and the son is Michael's son Joe Rosen.
- It took place on the Greek island of Corfu