The Project is a poem from Michael's book "The Hypnotiser".
At school, we were doing a project, you know the kind of thing. The Vikings, Transport, Wood. Our project was: Holland! There we were reading: "My Friend Hans, from Holland." And we made windmills, and stuck blue strips of paper onto white strips of paper. They were canals. And we kept talking about tulips and cheese. In the end I thought they.. grew cheese and ate tulips. And suddenly one day, our teacher, Ms. Goodall, said there was.. an inspector coming in. She said, he wasn't going to inspect us, he was going to inspect her. And we were all to help her by being really good, and answering all the questions that he asked us. Huh.
Later that day, he came in. He had a moustache. We behaved. Ms. Goodall behaved.
There we all were, sitting in our rows, behind our desks, breathing very, very quietly. And he looked at our windmills! Hmmmm! And then our canals! Hmmmm! And he said, "What do they eat in Holland?" And I didn't put my hand up in case I said tulips. But Sheila McClaine said, "Cheese!" And he said, "What do they grow in Holland?" And I didn't put my hand up for that one either. But Margot Vane said, "Tulips." And he asked some more questions and we were doing really well. Miss Goodall was trying very hard not to look proud. And then he asked, "Who is the Queen of Holland?" There was silence! No one knew, who was the Queen of Holland! Ms. Goodall frowned, and then started looking all 'round the class with her eyes looking all hoping! And then suddenly, I remembered this funny little rhyme that my friend Harrybo used to say! I put up my hand. "Yes?" said the inspector. "Queen Juliana is a fat banana," I said. Ms. Goodall looked awful. Harrybo was sitting in front of me and I saw him snort and start giggling. "Sorry, uh, what did you say?" said the inspector. "Queen Juliana," ...I said. "Good!" he said. "You're right! Quite right!" Ms. Goodall was delighted. I was delighted. The inspector was delighted, and Harrybo was still snorting away like that.